Is There Life After La Rochelle? What Next?

Mal du Pays, Part II may have sounded like the end of the blog but it's not! We have decided we might be addicted to blogging! So we plan to continue to let you know about our new adventures in England and Paris as we count down to September 9 and our return to Toronto. As well, we imagine that we may have some interesting experiences upon our return.  Perhaps a bit of culture shock? Soon we will be relaxing at a cottage in England. We hope to take some of that time to begin to think about what this year has meant to us, individually and as a couple. What  has changed in our perceptions of the world and of ourselves? What are we taking back to Toronto and how might we want our life to change there as a result of living in La Rochelle?
We will try and keep to our schedule of every Monday so tune in . . .

Mal du Pays Part 2

We have left La Rochelle. We still have seven weeks left in Europe, but on Friday it was goodbye to the place that has been home for the past ten months. While we have made a home in La Rochelle, it is not Home. During the past ten months I have thought alot about the meaning of Home. I wonder what David and I mean when we say we are 'going home'.  Is it Canada? Toronto? Hutton Avenue? Or is it really friends and family?  Interestingly, there is no real word for Home in French. The closest translation is chez nous which to me does not capture the emotion and personal history of the English word. We have talked about this with our French friends and they agree. They say that generally when they say chez nous, they are talking more about the physical aspects of home, sometimes about what happens in the home, but not the warmth and belonging that seems to be inherent in the English word.
Thornton Wilder said: "When you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure you wish you were safe at home." Leaving La Rochelle has been a  double-edged sword. We were both really sad to give up all that was there for us. But when we thought of being back in Toronto, we felt a real urgency to be there soon, to reconnect with family and friends and to feel at home. It seems that now I am going to have mal de pays in two directions! There are so many things I am going to miss about La Rochelle and now that Home is getting closer, I can allow myself to begin to miss all the things I love about Home in Toronto. This conflict of emotions certainly made us aware of the need to 'be in the moment' so as not to miss all the experiences of our last days in La Rochelle.
I will miss the beauty of La Rochelle. Even after ten months, I continued to rubberneck when walking about the town. The last few days I took longer to look, to try to remember my favourite sights: the statue of one Bonne Femme right on our street,  the rooftops from our balcony in the early morning light, the old clock tower with the wonderful boulangerie nestled in its shadow (with the best pains au raisins in the city!), the nooks and crannies that are part of any walk in this city.

I will definitely miss the great luxury of having a splendid market within steps of my front door and especially the wonder of the food in it. I will miss the people we know around the city: the shopkeepers, market stall vendors, the wonderful hairdresser, the helpful woman in the mercerie. I have been a real customer for them, someone they took time to know. Just before leaving I went to say goodbye to many of them and was truly touched by their good wishes to us. Even Blondie told us she will miss us, 'les gens sympas sur le balcon' ! And, of course, we will miss our friends. How amazing to be leaving these relationships carved out in only ten months, in a country where we were told this would be impossible. We feel sure that they will continue via email and Skype, becoming richer and stronger. We will be saying goodbye to the wonderful apartment where we have lived so comfortably as well as the gym (and handsome Ludovic), the park, the cafés and all the other things that are part of our daily routine. I am going to miss being me in French and the feeling of victory and competence that comes with that. And I will miss the idea of myself as an adventurer, someone willing to give up Home for exciting experiences.
But . . . Home beckons and I am ready to be there. I crave Canadian Old Cheddar, cranberry sauce, a battery operated phone, maple sugar, our bed with a box spring instead of slats, a final canoe trip in the glorious Canadian autumn, that quiet, Canadian way of saying 'sorry'. Most of all,  I crave all of you. I knew you were important to me before I left but this time away has served to let me know just how important. I am looking forward to gathering friends and family together to hear first hand about your adventures and accomplishments but most of all to let you know how much you have been missed.  Like the "Burd" in Stuart McLean's story, "Just like anyone else who has ever had a home, she had followed that universal urge to leave. Of all the mysteries of migration maybe that's the only true thing, the one true thing, that we know and share with animals big and small, this sense of seeking, finding and leaving but above all, of returning home."
A très bientôt. See you soon.